Then
I needed a wall.
A Sassiverse Book
Boundaries & Fences
You get to decide how much space you need.
Chapter 5
Fences Can Change
A fence is not a promise about forever.
It is a choice about what fits the landscape you are standing in now.
Look Again
Landscapes Change
Time passes.
Conversations happen.
New information arrives.
Trust may grow.
Trust may shrink.
You may learn something about yourself.
You may learn something about someone else.
Or maybe nothing important changes at all.
When the landscape changes, you are allowed to look at the fence again.
Investigation Ongoing
You Can Check the Fence Without Promising to Change It
Looking again does not mean the old fence was wrong.
It does not mean someone earned more access.
It does not mean you owe anyone a smaller boundary.
You are simply gathering information.
Does this fence still fit?
Do I still need this much space?
Do I need more space now?
Has anything changed?
Have I changed?
Looking again is curiosity, not a commitment.
Sometimes the Fence Moves
Sometimes You Need Less Space
Maybe a Brick Wall helped when everything felt raw.
Later, a privacy fence may feel like enough.
Someday, you may notice you want a little garden fence.
Later
More distance still felt good, but I no longer needed everything closed.
Maybe Someday
A little space might be enough.
A smaller fence is one possible choice. It is not the destination.
Sometimes the Landscape Says Something Else
Sometimes You Need More Space
Maybe you started with a garden fence.
Then you learned something new.
Maybe the fence was repeatedly ignored.
Maybe you noticed you still could not hear yourself.
Maybe you kept getting hurt.
Maybe your body and mind kept telling you:
“This is not enough space.”
You may decide the privacy fence needs to become a Brick Wall.
Or perhaps the moat construction crew needs to be called.
Crocodile permits pending. 🐊
More space can be new information too.
Sometimes Nothing Needs Fixing
Sometimes the Fence Stays Exactly Where It Is
You can revisit a fence and decide:
“Yep. Still fits.”
That is a decision too.
A boundary does not have to become smaller just because time passed.
It does not have to disappear because someone apologized.
It does not have to change because someone wishes it would.
It can stay because, after looking again, it still fits.
Staying is also a choice.
Still Not a Ladder
Boundary Changes Are Not Progress Scores
Smaller does not mean healthier.
Bigger does not mean you failed.
Opening does not mean you healed.
Closing does not mean you are stuck.
Keeping the same fence does not mean you stopped growing.
The Sassiverse does not have a boundary leaderboard.
No medals for smallest fence. 😂
The useful question is still: “What fits my landscape now?”
Field Notes
Let New Information Matter
Maybe someone respected your boundary without pushing.
That is information.
Maybe they listened through the Window.
Information.
Maybe they ignored the fence repeatedly.
Information.
Maybe you discovered that the distance you thought you needed did not actually help.
Information.
Maybe you realized you feel safer with more space than you expected.
Information.
You do not have to blame anyone to learn from what happened.
Try, Notice, Adjust
A Fence Can Be an Experiment
You do not always know exactly what will help before you try it.
Maybe you try:
“I'm going to take tonight for myself.”
Then notice.
Did that help?
Did you need more time?
Did you discover that you wanted connection sooner?
Did something unexpected happen?
You can adjust from there.
You do not have to know the perfect fence before you are allowed to try one.
Something Else May Appear
Someday You May Wonder About a Gate
A fence can create space.
But sometimes, when the landscape feels safe enough, you may begin wondering:
“Do I want a way to connect through this fence?”
Maybe yes.
Maybe no.
Maybe not yet.
A Gate is not required.
And if there is one, you control the latch.
A Gate is an invitation to choice, not an obligation to open.
Chapter 5 Trail Marker
Your Fence Is Allowed to Keep Becoming Too
You can check it.
Keep it.
Move it.
Make it taller.
Make it smaller.
Add crocodiles.
Retire the crocodiles.
Add a Window.
Someday, maybe, build a Gate.
What fits the landscape I am standing in now?
Investigation ongoing. Construction crew on standby. 🐊🚧
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