Garden Fence
I need a little breathing room, but connection still feels okay.
A Sassiverse Book
Boundaries & Fences
You get to decide how much space you need.
Chapter 1
Meet the Fence
Sometimes finding your footing is only the beginning.
You may also need a little space around you while you figure out what happened, what you need, and what comes next.
Around the Sassiverse, that space can look like a fence.
Back on Solid Ground
Imagine You Have Just Landed
Your Parachute helped slow the spinning.
Your feet are underneath you again.
Maybe you landed at the beach.
Maybe you landed in the mountains.
Maybe you went for a walk with your dog, curled up with a favorite book, visited Grandma, watched a movie, or found somewhere completely your own.
The Rock may still be somewhere in the landscape.
You simply have enough footing now to notice something else.
How much space do I need around me right now?
Maybe Just a Little Space
You Might Choose a Small Garden Fence
A small fence might mean:
“I need a little time.”
“Can we talk about this later?”
“I want to think before I answer.”
“I still want you nearby. I just need a little room.”
The fence does not mean someone is bad.
It does not mean you stopped caring.
It simply tells the landscape:
This is the amount of space I need right now.
Different Rocks. Different Fences.
Your Fence Can Look Like Whatever You Need
Sometimes a little garden fence is enough.
Sometimes it is absolutely not enough.
Privacy Fence
I need more space. I am not ready for much interaction right now.
Brick Wall
I am not ready. I need this space to stay closed for now.
Moat
Considerable distance sounds pretty good right now.
Moat With Crocodiles
I believe I was quite clear about needing space.
Invent Your Own
Lasers? Rainbow dragons? A force field?
Your landscape. Your imagination.
Words Before All the Words
Sometimes It Is Easier to Draw the Fence
You may not know exactly why you need space yet.
You may not know the perfect words.
You may only know:
“I need a really big fence today.”
That is still useful information.
A child might draw a castle, a moat, three crocodiles, and themselves sitting inside with their dog.
An adult may imagine exactly the same thing.
Adults are allowed crocodiles too.
Obviously. 🐊
Shared Language
Someone Else Can Ask About Your Fence
A parent might ask:
“What kind of fence do you need?”
A friend might ask:
“Little fence or crocodile moat?”
A partner might say:
“I can give you some space. Let me know when you are ready.”
They can ask.
They can listen.
They can respect the answer.
But they do not get to choose your fence for you.
The Fence Is Information
A Fence Is Not a Verdict About Another Person
Sometimes we need space from someone we love.
Sometimes we need space from a friend.
Sometimes we need space from a conversation, a problem, a decision, work, noise, expectations, or simply too many things happening at once.
Needing a fence does not automatically mean:
They are bad.
I am bad.
Someone has to be the villain.
The relationship is over.
The fence has to stay forever.
The fence simply tells us what amount of space feels right for the traveler right now.
Caring Does Not Require Unlimited Access
You Can Care About Someone From Behind a Fence
A fence does not erase care.
It can create enough space for you to remain yourself while caring.
You might say:
“I care about you. I still need some space.”
“I want to talk about this. I am not ready yet.”
“I can help with this part. I cannot carry the rest.”
“I do not have the capacity for this today.”
Love does not require unlimited access.
Investigation Ongoing
Today's Fence Does Not Have to Be Tomorrow's Fence
Maybe today you need a Brick Wall.
Later you may decide a privacy fence is enough.
Someday you might want a small garden fence.
Or you may discover that the Brick Wall needs to stay exactly where it is.
There is no required progression.
A smaller fence is not automatically better.
A bigger fence is not automatically worse.
New information can help you decide what fence fits now.
Chapter 1 Trail Marker
What Kind of Fence Do You Need Today?
You do not need to explain everything first.
You do not need to know whether the fence will stay forever.
You do not have to decide what anyone else should think about it.
For now, simply notice:
How much space would help me remain myself right now?
Garden fence?
Privacy fence?
Brick Wall?
Crocodile moat?
Your landscape. Your fence. Your crocodiles.
Other Trails Nearby
Wander Wherever You Need
The Parachute
Still spinning?
You may need to find your footing first.
Sunny Spots
Discover places, people, activities,
and rhythms that help you find your footing.
Sunny Seats
When you are ready,
begin noticing your choices again.
The Gate
Someday you may wonder whether your
fence needs a Gate.
That book is still being written.
More language is waiting whenever you are curious.
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